Lesson Fifteen – Confusing lifestyles

There’s really one major difference between people who succeed in life and people who are just lost in the fray and forgotten. It comes down to who cares. Poor people party a lot. And by party I mean drink, do drugs, stay up late, and live irresponsible lives. And sooner or later they have to clean up their act and sell their body’s for awhile and catch back up on bills. That’s not a joke. Rich people party but its like day parties and they’re a few hours long and it’s more a meet and greet and showing off their shit they’ve accumulated.

There are a lot of people with really weird lifestyles. You’re going to meet girls who are more or less hookers. You’re going to meet men who have very non traditional jobs also. Really those are traditional jobs but not socially acceptable jobs.

Im honestly not real into writing this today. I just wanted to talk about something. One time I saw a girl, very on and off, she was always too busy for me. Turns out she was a hooker. I don’t know if she was just doing massages or whatever but all her friends were hookers so I assume she was too. Most of the time girls who do massages or whatever are hookers too they just get kind of pricey if you want the whole thing. Well I was at her apartment one day. And I found her appointment list. Just being at her apartment while she ignored me was enough for me to crave leaving but I found her list.

The list had about 10 appointments a day. Sometimes more. They were really just phone numbers and a really brief description of the guy. Usually something like “Mike black guy” or “Old gross guy” or “Steve cute”. This was that girl’s job. This was her life. It’s odd to think about really. Because it’s so unusual. She could have gotten a job. She’d do other things like dance at strip clubs from time to time when she needed more money. Her house was full of bongs and pot smoking tools.

It’s weird to think about from a distance. Like this person is a total waste of life. I’m not judging her. I don’t care about the way she lived. I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with prostitution. I say it because she was content with that. Messing with old gross guys was an acceptable life path. She had no higher goals. She had no desire for a furthering education or anything better. Oiling up old gross guys in the hood…That’s life. Mind boggling. I honestly don’t get people. The more I try to understand them the better I do and the deeper I see that life goes.

I don’t know if there was a point to this blog.

Lesson Fourteen – Judge without judging

In retrospect every situation could have gone completely different. Just reaching behind your back to draw your gun can drastically change a situation. Let’s say you’re at the ATM. And some old guy sneaks up on you and starts yelling at you. It’s going to take a second to register what he’s mad about. He’s got a fifth grade education and probably drunk. If you draw and shoot him well you really weren’t in the right there. Yea you were at the ATM and you felt like you were being attacked. But you’ll spend a while in prison for it. If you don’t draw and end him but reach to draw he might draw. Or he might attack to try to stop you. In which case you’ll highly likely be in the right in the eyes of the law. If you do nothing and he yells at you about nothing and turns and walks away and continues yelling about everything and nothing then nothing comes of the situation. In other words your actions are equally as effective in completely changing a situation.

The goal is to always make the right decision. Make multiple wrong decisions and you lose. Don’t over compensate. Don’t make situations worse. Agree with upset people or ignore them. You don’t have the right defend yourself until you are actually defending your physical self. Your ego does not count. Judge the situation without judging the situation. Judgment is usually followed by an action. In the natural world where there is no police state on top of you rejudging the situation action is almost always the best way to deal with things. In the modern world you are forced to wait. You need to wait until the situation turns into the situation that the police state will deem your actions acceptable.

This is dangerous. This highly increases your chance at failure. If you could just blast someone for acting crazy then the good and bad wouldn’t coexist for too long. The bad would be all dead. But the bad are protected by laws. The bad are not judged until they are convicted of something. Many sociopaths and violent criminals coexist with the normal people. The ones that are good thrive. But you have to mind your own business and not be one of the bad. Be bad in a different way. Be the good guy whose worse than any bad guy. That’s the only way to survive.

Lesson Thirteen – Trust

Be mean to people. No one is allowed to borrow anything. Everyone should know that your shit is yours and they risk everything to make it theirs. This isn’t the suburbs. Your neighbor borrowing something really means you giving it to them. Odds are they aren’t even your neighbor they’re just knocking on random doors. Years ago in the old west if you stole anything a band of vigilantes would come and shoot you and then hang you. Your property is everything in harsh environments. They know that. They don’t respect you asking for your stuff. That’s their first mistake.

You’re going to have property stolen. That’s a fact of life. You’re going to leave something somewhere and come back minutes later and it be gone. These people are like seagulls looking for a piece of bread. They’ll hang where you can’t see them and swoop down and be gone in an instant when you turn your back. That’s a fact of life in the ghetto. Anything not bolted down and protected by the business end of a firearm can and will be stolen. You’re going to want to use your neighbors children as clay pigeons because they steal from you but your only real course of action is to let it go. If they’re trying to rob you, i.e. steal from your person, in most states you have the right to defend yourself.

Girls will ask you for drugs after acting like they like you and want to get to know you. Or money. They don’t give a fuck about you. Opiate addicts care about one thing. All drug addicts care about one thing. And unless you are their drug of choice that one thing is not you. Don’t get fooled. You’re never getting borrowed money back. And that’s fine. Don’t give them money. And if you feel like being merciful today and do want to give them something don’t give them enough to make it worth their while to come back. 1-4 dollars. 5 is enough for them to come back. And try to do it in quarters. Something a drug dealer doesn’t want. Helpful but not helpful is your mantra when helping people.

Never ever let someone in a position of power over you. Never let someone in your car or house unless they’re close and you trust them totally. Never give a stranger a ride. He’s going to knife you and steal your car. He doesn’t care about getting far. Always assume everyone is going to try to kill you and steal your shit and get away with it.  You need to always be in the position of power.

Don’t trust anyone. DTA. Live by it. Say it to yourself every time someone wants anything from you. DTA, DTA, DTA, DTA.

Lesson Twelve – Great Role Models

Aaron Hernandez. He’s a great role model. There are a ton of great role models like him too. Prison is full of them. They didn’t take shit and they killed without any regards to the consequences. They didn’t let people disrespect them and those people are dead. I’m being sarcastic. They are great role models but role models of what not to be like. Sometimes you have to see people fail at things to know how to win. The human mind is pretty powerful at foresight and visualization. If you can see yourself following the paths of someone that failed you know how not to be. And that’s a start in a world where success is so shrouded with mystery by those who don’t have it.

You can deduct that not acting like Aaron Hernandez is a great way to stay out of prison. While he managed to get into the NFL he blew it. He lost more and at a very young age than most everyone could ever gain. Why? He took the wrong path. The path of offense. The path of ignorance. He followed every modern gangster’s mantra and he did so very well. He lost everything because of it. He didn’t know how to have humility. Someone spilled a drink on him and it turned into a double homicide. Someone else knew of the double homicide and it turned into triple homicide. That then turned into dying in a prison. And being buried in a prison graveyard. He couldn’t keep his eye on the prize he was too proud and too well into the mantra’s of hood rats.

There are no real role models that come out of the ghetto. It’s a very somber realization. It’s a slow violin playing in the background. It’s sad. No one that grows up or lives in this environment ever becomes someone you want to be. They always have that stigma and that fear and hate and tactical mind. They can never relax and be someone else. They can never be someone that had plenty and lived in beautiful places with well adjusted people and nothing but opportunity. They might currently live in the land of plenty. But there will always be that part of them. It’s like taking a tiger out of the jungle. The jungle will never leave him. A veteran out of war. The war is still there.

You can’t look to anyone who rose above. Not me or anyone. Not any athlete or any CEO or any successful person that came from nothing but pain and hate. You can never look to someone that learned how to feel invincible because they had absolutely nothing to lose. Someone that craved death because it was a release from the shit. You have to look to people who never had to live that life. Because they’re the goal. And not so much for you but your kids. And the future generations of people that walk this earth. No one should have to go through all the things we have. No one deserves it. We all come into this world innocent of everything. Totally ready to be shaped to our world. And no one deserves to be treated so poorly and have so little in a world that offers so little opportunity.

We learned how to be invincible and we learned how to be cold to everything and become capable of any horrors. For some reason once you have that you know you can never let it go. It’s impossible to let go…just in case you ever need it again. It would be nice to live in a world where no one has to have that. But you can’t look to people who have that. You have to look to people who don’t. They might seem weak or ignorant but their quality of life is so much better than ours. Ignorance is bliss.

Lesson Eleven – Credit

It’s very easy to get some credit in this country. If you have a job and a decent or empty credit history you can get some credit. Which is great. Its important to be able to have some money that simply isn’t yours that you can use in emergencies. Wealthy people have awesome credit cards and awesome credit rates. Credit companies basically pay them to use their credit cards. The reason is the desire for their business vs. the competition. They have to offer great deals and offer high credit lines and incredibly low interest rates. They will profit off the wealthy person, albeit not a ton, but they’ll make some money in the end.

Most Americans get terrible rates on credit cards. Because most Americans owe on credit cards. They cant pay them off, and when they do they typically owe money again almost immediately after. Credit companies make a ton of money off the average Joe. They don’t offer great deals they offer decent deals and at best a crappy interest.

You get the absolute worst deals. You get absolutely no incentives and very high interest rates. This should deter low income people from ever using credit.  The problem being is that most low income people don’t make enough money to survive. We rely on unreliable income and even get that in small amounts. If we want to buy our kids birthday presents or take them to Chuck E Cheese or whatever we typically have to put that on credit. Really anything not food and rent goes to credit. And we can never pay it off because we’re never making more money. Either the same money or less. Credit card companies LOVE this. They make so much money in the end. We pay more interest by a huge margin than money borrowed by the ends of our lives. Its a scam. And it helps keep the rich rich and the poor poor.

Again this goes to the entire mantra of staying alive in the ghetto. You, being an American, think, “Something should be done about that.” Yea absolutely. It’s hurting a ton of people and contributes to a below par lifestyle for a ton of people. But there are no champions of the poor. Poor people don’t vote. Even if they did no presidential nominee would ever combat real issues in this country. They make up issues like gay marriage that have no real intrinsic bearing on anything and use vague words like “Hope” to not tackle this stuff.

The only way to survive the ghetto is the same way you survive the desert. You accept that you are not in control of the environment and have absolutely no bearing in “the way things should be.” You just have to stick to your goals of staying fed and hydrated and getting the hell out of there. Learn humility, learn how things work, and make critical decisions. Don’t waste a minute or a dollar trying to change things. Don’t forget why you live in the ghetto in the first place. You have no value therefor your voice and opinion has no value. Accept it, own it, move on.

Lesson Ten – The Police

Police are not your friend. Never ever call them or have anything to do with them unless absolutely necessary. The only viable situation in which to call police is to prevent the death or kidnapping of you or someone you care about. If they are already dead or kidnapped, the police are no longer of value. That’s IT. Your involvement with the police ENDS THERE. NO EXCEPTIONS. Do not call the police for petty crimes. Do not report crimes unless you can do so absolutely and totally anonymously. And only in situations in which the police can catch people in the act and don’t need your testimony.

A man who fights dragons too much eventually becomes a dragon. A man who stares into the abyss long enough eventually becomes the abyss. No that’s not my original quote its Neitzsche. A cop who fights criminals for long enough becomes a criminal. A cop who stares into the evils of the world for long enough eventually becomes the evils of the world. Cops deal with the worst people day in an day out. Drug abusers, thieves, psychotically violent people, child abusers, and people who break traffic laws and don’t care and people who live off law breaking, etc. They deal with angry drunks and people with a non functional level of intelligence…just everyone. That crap rubs off on them.

Cops also have unchecked power. Only recently have cops started being charged with things like murder and manslaughter. And that’s only because they’ve been so abusive and terroristic that people want cameras put on them. And people know you can film an arrest and get a good viral video because after the cops put someone in handcuffs they’re going to tase and kick and punch the person. Its just what they do, its so consistent that they’ll break the law you can catch them easy. They make the news constantly all over the country with viral videos of them beating and shooting and abusing the living shit out of people. They do it so much that people expect it. Which is by definition terrorism.

Cops don’t care. They just don’t. They don’t give a fuck about you or your situation or anything. If they pull you over for a traffic violation killing you crosses their minds many times. They are very weary of people who pull guns on them or get violent. They expect it in every situation. That mindset of kill or be killed weighs on them big time. Eventually they will kill someone. And not totally unjustified. The people they kill are usually total scumbags. But they don’t often do it in self defense. They love to take out that frustration and anger and stress on people. In their minds the people deserve it. And typically they do. But deserving something and upholding laws conflict and the laws should always win. But they don’t. And just because the cop is dealing with you they typically assume that you’re the same scumbag that they always have to deal with. Even if you aren’t.

Not all cops are bad. Some genuinely care about their communities and don’t want to help contribute to a society of violence. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Even the good ones are humans with guns and power and a job that makes them immune to the law in a huge amount of situations. Cops came to my door with guns drawn and when I opened the door they pulled me out with a gun literally in my face and arrested me. They then went through my house and seized my property. Cops can do this. If they have a warrant. These cops didn’t. To the rest of us that’s aggravated assault, kidnapping, armed robbery and a breaking and entering. There was no way on earth a judge would have granted them a warrant based on the ramblings of a schizophrenic person. So they took it upon themselves.  And that’s cops. And that’s why you avoid them.

There’s no way you can win against cops. If they want you for anything there’s no getting away or convincing them that you’re not guilty or anything. The only thing you should ever say to an officer is “I plead the fifth”. Officers want your blood. And you’re giving it to them when you talk about situations. If you’re just getting a ticket you keep your hands on the wheel and say “Yes, sir” when he tells you you’re either getting a ticket or a warning. Never be condescending, never argue, never do anything. They are looking for an excuse. I’ve had a cop harass me for maybe 15 minutes, Im absolutely sure he wanted to see if he could piss me off and either shoot me or charge me with more crimes than an expired plate. He was very clearly fishing for more. An expired plate is nothing. In the great scheme of things it hurts no one, it does nothing, its just a fee that hasn’t been paid. Something like a ticket is the only reasonable response to something like an unpaid fee. To be screamed at and harassed and threatened is not reasonable. But…this is the police.

They are always looking for more. Petty crimes are petty crimes. They want someone to shoot. Someone to hit. Someone to drive their knee into while they are on the ground. They want that release. It makes them violent and dangerous and criminals. Like I said though there’s no way you can win against them. There are more of them than you. They have the best lawyers. The get an insane amount of preferential treatment by judges and jurors. No matter what you do they will always be human. They will always have to deal with horrible people and they will always become horrible people themselves. Avoiding them is the only successful strategy.

Lesson Nine – Ghetto Exhaustion

If you’re just visiting the ghetto then you might not experience this. But if you live there you will. Living in a shitty high crime poverty stricken community is stressful. It takes it’s toll. It turns you into something else. It has a lot of effects on you as a whole. The highest would be fear, second would maybe be hunger. Or maybe the other way around. I don’t really know. It depends on you and the situation.

In order to not feel so exhausted sometimes you need to find somewhere else to spend your time. Typically you can’t afford to go to Italy and summer there so you have to stay in the ghetto and get your vacation. The easiest way is segregation. No not separating races. But separating yourself from the world around you. Staying indoors. Staying at a friends house. Getting lost in video games or a book. Staying at your girlfriends place. Pack your shit up and go over there.

My way was video games. Eventually they too become exhausting because you’re so hungry and broke and you spend a lot of time sleeping but at least I didn’t care about the world outside. Girls will do it too. Stay at their houses. Girl’s often travel to stay with boyfriends but if they live in a nice area and you live in the hood maybe you should go over there. Bring your dog, spend the night. Get away from it.

Sometimes the weight of the world will be too much for you to bare. Probably actually a lot in life. And you want to do crazy things to get it off. Like kill or be killed. Rob and steal and lash out at the world around you. Make it big or die. I think it was 50 Cent who had the song about getting rich or die trying. You better believe that stuck in the hood. Life is barely worth living. Lots of days it simply isn’t. You’re going to feel like you have nothing to lose a lot. That you can only go up. That any action no matter how absurd or violent or risky only stands to benefit you. Let those feelings subside. Make bigger goals. It’s better to be broke and free than rich and in prison.